tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC October 19, 2010 11:05pm-12:05am EST
and time now for tonight's closing argument. news today that virginia thomas, she's the wife of supreme court justice clarence thomas, left a voicemail message for anita hill. her accusations of sexual about lastment dominated thomas' confirmation hearings. well, that message, said, quote, "i just wanted to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something.
i would love you to consider an apology sometime and some full explanation of what you did with my husband. so, give it some thought and certainly play about this and come to understand why you did what you did. okay, have a good day." well, anita hill told abc she would not be offering an apology. so, tonight, we wanted to ask you, simply, do you believe anita hill? tell us what you think at the "nightline" facebook page or on the "nightline" page at abcnews.com. and, tomorrow night on "nightline," an abc news investigation goes behind the scenes as america's most prominent lawmakers gather at their annual convention. a rare glimpse of what watchdog groups say is an all too cozy relationship between lawmakers an lob biists. that's tomorrow. but that's our report for tonight. for all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a message from bud light. >> happy early holidays, jimmy!
>> jimmy: santa? >> no. i'm guillermo. this is for you. >> jimmy: wow, thank you. a bud light. just what i wanted. and here's your gift. >> wow, a beer that swims! >> jimmy: no, guillermo. that's my way of telling you you're going on the bud light port paradise cruise. 7,000 people on two ships, cruising december 2nd through 5th with a stop in nassau, bahamas, then onto a private island. it's the perfect early holiday gift and the party of the year. >> wow! thanks jimmy. you're the best. >> jimmy: you're welcome, guillermo. now go enjoy your trip. >> bon voyage. >> jimmy: what?
well that's -- probably one of the worst conga lines i've ever seen. you forgot your -- oh, never mind. >> dicky: the bud light port paradise cruise. how bud light does paradise. for more details, go to the bud light facebook page. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with florence henderson, music from back in two minutes with florence henderson, music from mumford & sons and heidi klum. e. [ door opens ] ♪ here we go. right now! [ guys ] go! go! go! go! johnson, secure the pizza puffs in the kitchen. burke! i want a recon team on that brunette in the corner. and i'll commandeer the bud light. [ male announcer ] it's the sure sign of a good time. the just right taste of bud light. here we go. hey, you guys got any ice? here we go. ♪ come on, people, now ♪ smile on your brother , ♪ everybody get together ♪ try to love one another right now ♪
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>> dicky: and now, all kidding aside, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, cleto. thank you, everyone, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for coming. hey, is anyone in our audience here from kansas city? well, good, because there's a crazed chimp on the loose in kansas city. or at least there was one. a 300-pound pet chimpanzee escaped from her owner and spent the day moving recycling bins around there on the street. the chimp, whose name is sue -- that's a chain attached. climbed up on a police car there broke the window of the squad
car. you know, it's a good thing this didn't happen on halloween. people would probably be handing the chimp candy, which is not safe. and so the squad car got out of there with the broken window. then, this guy appears to be unaware he's strolling next to a chimp. hey, man, what's up? you from around here? and -- i don't know who is filming this, but they should really stay on the chimp. fortunately no one was hurt, including the chimp. they -- hey, you shave your butt, because -- they lured sue into a cage and took her to an animal sanctuary. the guy in the red shirt was the owner who has been cited for illegal monkey ownership or whatever it's called. in the past. who keeps a 300-pound chill np their house? have we learned nothing from the oprah show? i mean, really. so -- i told you jumanji was real. speaking of pry mates, last
night on "dancing with the stars," bristol palin, i guess to go along with the monkey song -- no, no, you're misunderstanding, but -- she dressed as a gorilla. she came out dressed in a gorilla costume on the show last night. they say this is the closest a member of the palin family has ever come to acknowledging evolution. ♪ hey hey we're the monkeys ♪ people say we monkey around >> jimmy: and then, well, you know, you can't dangle a carrot like that in front of sarah palin and expect not to get shot. the judges weren't impressed. she got the lowest score of the night, an 18. but despite that, the dancer who got the boot tonight was florence henderson, who scored higher. but she did -- she made out with greg brady on the show, which is -- it's disturbing. but florence is on her way here now. this is a surprise. i thought it would be bristol.
uncle franfrank, you have a crun her -- >> i love her. i wish i was able. but i'm not, i love her. >> jimmy: i would like for you to make a -- >> wave to her? >> jimmy: a play. >> what did he say? >> a play for her. >> a play. i don't hear you, jim. >> never mind. >> i'm sorry. >> jimmy: guillermo will explain it to you. anyway, florence henderson will be here tonight. and we'll see -- uncle frank -- probably my favorite part of "dancing with the stars" is when they show the rehearsal foot and of the dancers getting mad and storming out of the room. jennifer grey got in a fight last night with her partner derek hough. >> control your temper. >> that's not temper, trust me. >> can i tell you, i can feel it. if it feels bad to me, i can't work like this. i'm going to talk a little walk. >> it's like -- seriously? we're wasting more time. >> jimmy: and five seconds later
she came back. jennifer is one of many dancers who have had a quit fit. it's a rich tradition on "dancing with the stars." of celebrity tantrums. >> you're just not focusing in all the way or something. >> no, i mean, you know what, if you're not going to listen, you're not going to listen. >> how am i supposed to tell you what to do -- >> no, i'm going home. this is bull. >> i'm done. i'm done today. >> i quit. >> you can't quit. >> jimmy: i didn't know they were dancers. no idea. you get the idea. audrey that from "the hills" came in fifth last night. she got 23. and suffered the moist wrath of judge bruno. >> audrey yan, technically you have improved but i want it
pulsating with passion. rumba has to smolder. >> jimmy: in his country, that's a great sign of respect, so it's -- the chilean miners, as you probably know, formed a strong bond underground and they made a promise to stick together, to share any money they might get from telling their story. well, that lasted about 23 hours. because mario sepulveda, the miner they called super mario, has been speaking to abc news and "the today show" had some of the less famous miners, one of whom wrote letters with a plan to leave those letters behind. >> i spent some time with them this weekend, and you can see they are very much haunted by what they've been through. did you prepare themselves? i made myself ready. i wrote two laters. they stayed below in the mine. what did you say in the letters? dear crate and barrel, i ordered a salad spinner from you guys
more than two days ago and it still has not arrived. my order number is x 432-a 26. ps, i'm in a mine. >> jimmy: well, it sounds funny, but can you imagine how dirty his salads were down there? right? the doctor who artificially inseminated the octo-mom, is the subject of hearings right now to determine whether his medical license should be revoked. one of the things revealed today in the hearing is that the octo-mom still has 29 frozen embryos left. which is almost enough to give one to each chilean miner. but -- it -- it might be time for obama to build a border fence around her uterus. in sports news, strange story yesterday involved retired nfl great junior seau who claims he fell asleep and drove his suv off a cliff. some speculated he did it on purpose.
he's okay. an eyewitness to the crash, a gentleman named moose, gave this first-hand account of what we hope was an accident. >> i hear -- and the guy goes jumping off the cliff and i guess he cleared the cliff. >> jimmy: all right, well, there you -- and then they -- [ applause ] i don't know what happened. another nfl player going through tough times is brett favre. wrangler jeans appears to have pulled back drastically on the number of brett favre commercials they're running. you used to see them all the time. he's currently being investigated by the nfl for sending pictures of his genitals to a jets employee when he played there in 2008. the photographs of said genitals have surfaced online and it's all i can think about when i watch him play, which is weird. he can lose $7 million in endorsements a year -- you know, his manager really should have
said, brett, you're being paid $19,000 a day just to not show people your junk. wrangler is still working with brett favre, but they're not airing his ads during games anymore and made a slight alteration to one of the amds he's not in. >> wrangler jeans. trusted and true. comfortable and classic. and never too tight, so you can always get a camera down the front. wrangler. the genuine article. >> jimmy: well, that's -- what's why i mostly wear sweatpants. [ applause ] hopefully he won't get suspended. it would be a terrible way to break his record of most consecutive retirements. the midterm elections are coming up, two weeks from today. and i have to say, i have never seen a nuttier bunch of candidates. yesterday, they had a debate for candidates for governor in new york and a new star was born. >> at the end of the day, our
children will have nowhere to live. that is what i'm fighting for. as a karat tee expert, i will not talk about anyone up here, because our children can't afford to live anywhere. nowhere, there's nowhere to go. once again, why? you said it, the rent is too damn high. >> jimmy: jimmy mcmillen of the rent is too damn high party. i think -- the candidate may be too damn high in that party. i like any candidate who starts a sentence with "as a karrie tee expert." and rand paul is running against jack conway. conway is behind in the polls so his team put an ad together. supposedly rand paul tied a woman up and told her that his
god was aqua buddah. i assume he was kidding. if he wasn't -- i don't know. that became the centerpiece of a heated debate. >> when is it ever a good idea to tie up a woman and ask for her to kneel before a false idol? >> you're accusing me of crimes. how ridiculous are you? >> halt! aqua buddah! ♪ aqua dbuddah ♪ ♪ he talks to tuna ♪ bow down ♪ bow down ♪ to aqua buddah >> aqua buddah. >> rand paul, once you worship me and brought me sexy tied up college girls. now you have betrayed me. aqua buddah aqua power activate. what are you looking at, sleaze bag? i am your god.
i demand coeds. bow before me, america. >> aqua buddah. >> give you 15 seconds more. >> he still hasn't answered the two fundamental questions. >> let's have a debate tonight about some national issues. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i -- i have no -- we didn't do that. you're on drugs. meanwhile in delaware, tea party candidate christine o'donnell continues to provide us with a lot of entertainment. o'donnell's the woman who spent her youth campaigning against masturbation and dabbling in witchcraft. her latest moment of inspiration came during a debate this morning. keep in mind that she loves to say that if she becomes a senator, she will closely follow the constitution. she's the -- the constitution, constitution, constitution. but it might first be a good idea for her to read the constitution. >> indispensable principles is
the separation of church and state. >> with that, appreciate it. let's move onto the panelists. >> where in the constitution is the separation of church and state? let me just clarify. you're telling me that the separation of church and state is found in the first amendment. >> government shall make no establishment of -- >> that's in the first amendment. >> jimmy: they're doing the classic who is on first routine. how do you not know about the separation of church and state? i know about the separation of church and state. somebody get this woman a copy of "schoolhouse rock." apparently they don't teach the constitution at hogwarts. o'donnell is unfamiliar with the 14th and 16th amendments and probably some others, too, though they didn't ask about those.
the good news is, the dopier she is, the more famous she gets. while she may not win a seat in the senate, she does have a strong lead in getting her own show on tlc. >> this november, an eight-week television event. christine o'donnell's "no way." join her to discover most things people learn in second grade. where does snow go in the spring? can animals really talk like babe the pig? christine o'donnell won't stop until she learns something. christine o'donnell's "no way." right after sarah palin's alaska. only on tlc. >> jimmy: all right, well, that's something new. [ applause ] you should watch it. one more thing. fox news recently launched a spanish language website. we talked about this last week. and then they talked about us talking about it last night on bill o'reilly's show. >> finally tonight, pinheads and
patriots. on the jimmy kimmel late night program, there is a character named guillermo whose last name may be rodriguez. a few nights ago, kimmel launched the 0 rodriguez factory in response to fox news launching a website called fox news latino. >> tonight on 0 rodriguez factory. pinatas. pinatas are filled with candy. and who is filling this pinata with candy? mexicans! but who gets to eat this candies? white kids! the stupid white kids. pinata made me so mad, i want to hit them with a stick. but i don't want to hit them with a stick. because all the candy will fall out. when we come back, i'm going to punch somebody in the face. this is the 0 rodriguez factory. >> so, does that satire rise to
patriot or pinhead status? you make the call. please vote on billoriley.com. >> jimmy: people voted. and the result of that? 75% think we're pinheads. i don't know. can't you be a pinhead and a patriot? seems clear to me from the fact that people actually went online to vote on that you can. but congratulations, guillermo. >> oh, thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: we have a good show tonight. florence henderson, banished from "dancing with the stars" is here. we have music from mumford & sons. and we'll be right back with heidi klum, so stick around. you've never seen fast.
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that is what drives us. from his frere jacques... [ speaking french ] [ mom ] ...so he decided to study in paris. ♪ to see french masterpieces with his very own eyes. we even linked our citibank account to his so when his account ran low we just transferred funds. i just hope the language isn't a barrier. bonjour. [ mom ] my ryan can be very shy. [ male announcer ] from linked accounts to citi mobile we make it simple to manage your finances. what's your story? citibank can help you write it. >> jimmy: hi there. thanks for making it all the way back with us tonight. fresh from her shocking departure on "dancing with the stars," america's mommy, florence henderson is here. or on her way here anyway. then, later on, a terrific band from london.
this is their debut album called "sigh no more." mumford & sons from the bud light outdoor stage. tomorrow night, jenmy mccarthy, from the lakers, ron artest will be here, and on thursday night, ron stewart and clint eastwood will be here. and by the way, i want -- also on thursday, comedy central's night of too many stars, a telephone to help fund autism education, hosted by jon stewart with among others, chris rock, adam sandler, tina fey, steve car rell, tom hanks, george clooney and most importantly, me and weird al, so, that's 9:00, thursday night on comedy central, please watch that and give, if you can. i believe it was either shakespeare or flavor flav that once said, "in fashion, you are either in or you're out." our first guest decides which is which. she is the host of "project runway." part one of its two-part season finale airs this thursday night
at 9:00 on lifetime. please say hello to heidi klum. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, very good to see you. >> it was me who said that. >> jimmy: is that right? i always confuse the flee of you. >> but you have to say it -- you have to say it with the accent, though. >> jimmy: well, i'll try to say it with your accent. well, you know what i like what you do on the show? is the -- the complete lack of compassion when you're telling the contestants they are being eliminated. >> how do you really feel about it? >> jimmy: you go -- you disappointed me. we are going to have you destroyed. >> i am the kluminator. >> jimmy: you really do seem -- >> maybe because it takes me so long when i translate to
english. >> jimmy: is that what it is? >> no. >> jimmy: a lot of the hosts will pretend to really care. they'll go, oh this is so difficult. this is never -- you're just like, you have been destroyed. >> do you see my eyes going like this -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it seems like you've gotten more 0 opinionated this season than in the past -- >> i think i've always been very 0 opinionated but sometimes more behind the scenes then when we're filming and i think after doing it for eight years i'm maybe not as nervous as i was before. >> jimmy: you don't seem at all nervous. in fact, we put together a little something, a little montage that i think we'll -- >> i think it is butt ugly. this is like a hot mess. hideous. extremely unflattering. unfortunately mismatch. like two bald dresses glued together. ill-fitting flight attendant shirt dress. like a bed skirt. dirty, old rug. unwearable. she looks like a sausage. you were inspire bid a
grandmother and it showed. wow. she made penalties out of pants. how interesting. not. it looks silly to me. >> thank you. >> that was not a compliment. >> jimmy: you've become the simon cowell of the program. [ cheers and applause ] >> when you put it that way. i guess when you see it like that, i'm like, okay. >> jimmy: you're working on a kids show now. will you be doing that to the kids? >> zip it up. well, i'm going to let them talk. >> jimmy: let them talk and then you'll judge. if they're not funny, you throw them out. the last time you were here, you were excited about halloween, which is -- >> i'm always excited about that. >> jimmy: do they celebrate it in germany? >> they don't. well, now they do. we have okay to toberfest -- >> jimmy: i love that. >> all the hot girls with the -- >> jimmy: yeah, the -- >> beer mugs. >> jimmy: and the sausages and all that stuff.
i like every bit of that. there's nothing about it i don't like. >> we do more carnival. we are big on the carnival, which is kind of like halloween, just not scary. >> jimmy: oh, really. do people dress up -- >> we do. and then we go on a big float and we flow candy to the people that are watching on the side. >> jimmy: i see. but you have a big party every year -- >> i do. >> jimmy: i heard that -- i think i read somewhere that you rented a venue, you had to make sure the doors could accommodate your costume. >> i always have a problem. because the costume is always a problem. i was pregnant nine months and i was an apple. we were adam and eve, my husband was eve. i w he was like, what are you doing? i was an apple. i wanted to secure the baby. i couldn't fift in the car. they had to shove me. it was awful. and this time, i'm larger than wife, so, now i have problems with the ceiling and i can't sit anywhere.
>> jimmy: what are you going to be this time? >> i'm not telling you. >> jimmy: it's a surprise. because last time you and seal dressed up as crows. and -- it doesn't look like you can see at all out of that. >> yeah, you know what, it was bad. and he was driving. he could hardly see anything with the baceak on. and when you have that on, you can't talk to anyone. you can't really drink. it's not -- >> jimmy: this is why birds rarely talk unless they're parrots. so, this time you've got an even more -- do you pick seal's costume, too? >> i help him. he tells me how far he wants to go and he gets kind of more used to it. >> jimmy: and the kids get -- you have four kids? >> four children. >> jimmy: how old are they now? >> 6, 5, 4 and 1. [ applause ] >> jimmy: will the 1-year-old dress up? >> yeah. i don't have her costume yet but everyone else will be scary and, like, witches and -- >> jimmy: they get to pick their
own? >> they love it. they love halloween. >> jimmy: and does seal love it or is he just going along -- >> no, he loves it. he likes it. >> jimmy: because it seems like -- i would dress up in almost any kogs chum if you asked me to. >> okay. i can arrange for something. >> jimmy: there has to be sex at the end of it, that's the thing. >> i knew it. >> jimmy: you can't just wrap me up with duct tape and leave me hairless and with nothing. there has to be something. so, the kids, you take them to the pumpkin patch and do that -- >> we do. i decorate the house. we have spider webs all over the place. >> jimmy: all right? >> we have the scary skeleton dudes hanging by the door that are, with sensors so every time you go by -- i get scared because i forget sometimes. you walk past and they are like -- aghh. and we have pumpkins. >> jimmy: you get 50 pumpkins? >> a lot.
>> jimmy: 50? >> yeah, but we have the little ones. >> jimmy: pumpkinettes. and do you do the thing where everyone carves -- >> no, no, that's so yesterday. >> jimmy: what? what do you mean it's yesterday? this is not "project runway." >> well, you can make it. you add from the outside. we get clay and they do it -- we have this really great art pitcher, the children love her and they do things with toothpicks and put this kind of stuff on it so it looks like a witch with a hat -- >> jimmy: so, she comes in with toothpicks and puts clay -- >> and they paint it and put sparkles -- >> jimmy: you've been on the show too long. you are bedazzling pumpkins. >> it's great. >> jimmy: you're supposed to chop into them. >> what am i going to say, here, take that knife, chop it apart. >> jimmy: what if they want to
be a killer or something eventu eventually? what if they want to work as a butcher? or maybe a chef? y you've denied them that. >> maybe -- maybe i'm going to send her by and then you guys can do some pumpkins together. >> jimmy: i would love to do that. i love that -- i just want to say that word a lot of times when she -- >> it is a cute name. it's from india, though, a goddess. >> jimmy: yeah, well, everything is, right? >> it's true. they have thousands of them. have you been to india? >> jimmy: no. >> why not? >> jimmy: i don't have that in my life to guide me through a place -- i would assume you've been to india. >> i have. >> jimmy: no, never been. not even indianapolis, to be honest with you. >> i know. you don't have a passport -- >> jimmy: i do. you're going to find that
shocking, but i have a passport. sometimes i go to montreal, my uncle frank. >> you have to travel sometimes. for example, come to new york for halloween. >> jimmy: you don't need a passport to come to new york. >> i know that. i'm going to make you an outfit. >> jimmy: that would be great. but remember our condition. >> i forgot about that one. >> jimmy: great to see you. the two-part season finale -- proparts, huh? >> yeah, because it was such a fistfight that we had to break it into two parts. >> jimmy: it's coming up, this week. you have no idea what a big deal this is around our office. thursday night, 9:00, "project runway" two-part season finale on lifetime. heidi klum, everybody. we'll be right back with florence henderson. watch this. ♪
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so it's always right where you need it. bob ehrlich's 24 years in politics. in congress ehrlich voted with george bush 90% of the time, protecting the special interests. as governor, ehrlich cut education, increased college tuition by 40%, and vetoed an increase in the minimum wage. and after losing his election, bob ehrlich joined a lobbying firm and got paid $2.5 million to represent casinos and wall street banks. bob ehrlich--24 years of putting the special interests first.
>> jimmy: hi there, we're back. still to come, mumford & sons. in the most startling tv moment maybe since that football that broke marsha's nose, tonight, our first gegs was dismissed from season 11 of "dancing with the stars," because she refused to wear a gorilla suit. joined now by her dance partner corky ballas, please welcome
florence henderson. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, thank you for coming. what a miscarriage of justice occurred tonight on the show. i was -- i was very surprised that you got eliminated. >> i was surprised, too. >> jimmy: were you? >> very surprised. >> jimmy: i mean, when you saw bristol in that gorilla thick, you must have said, we have this wrapped up, no problem. and then, you had -- you beat two people -- >> yes, yes. i don't know. i don't know exactly how it works. >> and it was our best dance ever. she's just growing into her legs, getting strong and powerful. our best dance, highest score. >> jimmy: do you think when america saw you kissing greg brady, america went, what the
hell is going on here? this cannot happen again. who knows where they'll go next week if we let this continue. >> i hate to break this to you, jimmy, but he wasn't really my son. >> jimmy: oh. so everything i believed was wrong. by the way, uncle frank is -- >> how is he -- >> jimmy: he's so in love with you. >> i voted for you. >> jimmy: he talks about you constantly. uncle frank, did you vote for florence? >> in my heart, yes. >> jimmy: in your heart. that doesn't do a whole lot of good. >> he came to the show. >> jimmy: he did come to the show. >> he was in the audience. >> jimmy: he was in the audience to watch you. but you have to do this if you want to win. >> that's right. >> jimmy: your son -- you are competing against your own son. >> yes. i have two boys on that show. derek hough, i raised him since he was 10 years old. >> jimmy: i didn't realize that. >> it's bittersweet. he was safe and at the same time i was like, oh, he's safe, now we're not.
>> he's safe and kyle is safe, that means we're in trouble. >> jimmy: did you worry that corky was secretly working against you to help his two sons, planted on the show? >> well, i thought about it a couple of times, but knowing corky, no. >> jimmy: was the show everything that you hoped it would be? >> well, you know, i've been a fan of the show since it began and i've been in the audience many times and it was just a fabulous experience. it's the greatest crew over there. i mean, i'm sure you have a great crew, too. >> jimmy: ours is better. [ applause ] audience has voted. and the "dancing with the stars" crew has been eliminated. >> will -- you know, to me, having been in television over 50 years, i've done a lot of shows in my time and it truly was very well produced, great crew, hair, makeup, costumes, musicians. and the other contestants and the pro dancers and this guy, i just adore. >> jimmy: true or false --
>> i want to say, you know, i am dancing with the real star right here. this is -- that's the name of the show, "dancing with the stars." this is the real star right here. >> jimmy: see, this is why i think he might be secretly working against you. look at how he's ingratiating himself to you. meanwhile he's probably voted for his own son. did the brady kids vote for you? >> oh, yes. absolutely. >> jimmy: i suspect that jan didn't. >> no -- no, eve plum was my biggest booster. >> jimmy: she was? >> she's in a play in new york. those kids -- >> jimmy: you think she -- >> i taught those kids how to behave. believe me. >> jimmy: see, that's what people worry about with you and greg that you were whipping his bottom. >> you know what -- i think you have a little secret wish you'd like me to do that to you. >> jimmy: well, you know what -- [ applause ] like uncle, like nephew, i
guess. well, i'm sad to say that we have a tradition around here, when you are eliminated from "dancing with the stars" -- >> going to burn -- >> jimmy: something bad happens. let's go outside to hollywood boulevard where guillermo is standing by for the ceremonial burning of the capezios. florence, tonight, you were eliminated from "dancing with the stars," and now your shoes pay the price. guillermo? florence, america has spoken. your dance card has been punched. thank you for being here. you did a great job on the show. thanks to you both for coming. florence henderson, corky ballas, everybody. "dancing with the stars," mondays and tuesdays here on abc. we'll be right back with mumford & sons. ♪
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